CHILD
RAPE & ABUSE
The Self Encounter
When doing a self encounter, which is a
way of trying to help you find deeper awareness of your self in trying to
heal, please follow this form as closely as possible. It is based on the
4-step process found in Alice Miller's Drama of the Gifted Child.
My Topic is: (Be as specific as you can)
The intellectual importance of this topic for me is: ( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10 importance).
The emotional charge of this topic for me is: ( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 emotionally charged).
The motivation for doing this self encounter is: (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 motivated because ____________________)
1) My Facts and observations are: (Write:
I saw _________, or I heard _________ or my observation is ______________,
or What happened to me was _________)
eg: I saw father hitting mother when I was 6-years old
2) My Thoughts or Interpretations
are:(Write: I think _____________ , or My interpretation of what happened
is ___________________ )
eg: I think father was drunk, that he was out of control. I think he
did'nt know what he was doing.I think he did'nt care about what he did.
3) My body sensations are: (Write: I am
experiencing ____________ in ____ __________ (a specific part of my body).
eg: I experienced pains in my stomach when father hit mother
4) My Feelings are: (Write: I feel
____________ ,or I felt ___________ and explain the feeling)
eg: I felt afraid when father hit mother.I felt insecure and lost.
5) My survivors are: (Examples:Over
responsible, under responsible, perfectionist, people pleaser, victim,
intellectual, emotional).
eg: I'm Miss Goody Two-shoes ..... I'm super nice so everybody will like
me
6) My Inner Critic says: ( At first the
inner critic will use "you" messages .... and may reflect
comments made by a parent. Over time this will change to "I"
messages ..... and become more supportive, like a kind parent).
7) My inner child says: (These are the
things you would have said if you were a child facing the same kind of
situation).
eg: Why is father always shouting? Why does father always do this? Why
does mother let this happen? Why won't anybody help me?
8) My Inner Coach says: (This is a
wise,loving part of yourself)
eg: You're somebody very special who has a lot going for her. I respect
me, I am some one worthwhile and I deserve to be treated well!
9) My Intentions,Wants and Needs are:
(Write: I want ________, I need _____ or I intend ________ )
eg: I want to achieve and succeed. I want to make a meaningful difference
in the world. I need to be treated with respect.
10) My Commitments and Actions will be:
(Write: I am committed to __________)
eg: I am committed to healing my deep inner wounds. I am committed to
building a worthwhile life for myself.
Summary and Conclusions: Which areas have I used in this self encounter?
Which areas have I not used?
What did I learn about myself while doing this self-encounter?
What new topics came up for me while doing this self encounter?
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