THE MEN IN OUR LIVES
Ten tips to survive and fight back by Dean whose wife was raped after five perpetrators robbed them

1. For husbands struggling to cope with the incident,I always shifted my thoughts to exactly what my wife suffered during the ordeal and it made me realise that my trauma was far less than hers.

2. Being open with everybody about the incident tended to relieve the bottled up pressures.

3. Discussing every detail with your partner no matter how gruesome, removes all unanswered questions and brings a sense of trust and caring into the traumatised relationship.

4. Be patient with your partner but not the police or justice departments.They deal with this all and every day and tend to see your problem as a daily work routine.

5. My driving force for an arrest was the thought of them raping another woman and me standing around doing zero to stop them.(This is now not only my problem but the police problem as well)

6. Befriend the investigating officer, give him hell, but also praise and give thanks when deserved.

7. If not for yourself, but for the next potential woman,mother, daughter.......stand up and demand action.

8. My wife did not sit and feel sorry for herself, she stood up and got INVOLVED.

9. Always give positive support to other survivors, this will make your healing much more bearable.

10. Never forget, that we do not face this alone.

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