types

TYPES OF RAPE
Violence against Women

In South Africa we have become inured by statistics about crime - the number of rapes per second which currently stands at one rape every 26 seconds, the number of high-jackings per day, the number of violent crimes in a week. In this context, it is easy to let statistics such as one woman killed every six days by her intimate partner, one out of three women are beaten regularly by their partners or 1.5 million women a year battered in South Africa, became part of general numbness that the appalling magnitude of this problem induces. Yet these statistics have a very human face, a frightened, hurting, desperate face, and it is this face that the Nisaa Institute for Women's Development sees on a daily basis.

TYPES OF ABUSE
There are five types of abuse, namely:
Physical, Sexual, Economic, Emotional, and Isolation.

1 PHYSICAL ABUSE
It includes direct physical attacks such as:
being punched , slapped, kicked, beaten
sustaining internal injuries
being assaulted with objects , guns or knives
being pushed around
being killed

2 SEXUAL ABUSE
rape
forcing the woman into sexual acts with which she is uncomfortable
constant accusations of sexual infidelity
constant verbal abuse, which focuses on sexual, slurs e.g. slut, whore, bitch etc
forcing a woman to watch pornography and act out pornographic material
forcing a woman to have sexual intercourse with friends or colleagues

3 ECONOMIC ABUSE
Preventing a woman from getting or keeping a job
forcing her to hand over her salary
making her ask for money
forcing the woman to sign for debts or loans
gambling all the household money
employing her without paying her a salary
deliberate damage to property or possessions
not letting her know or have access to family income

4 EMOTIONAL ABUSE \ VERBAL ABUSE
constant verbal abuse
degrading her publicly and privately
restricting her involvement with persons outside the home
being jealous and possessive to the point where she is afraid to talk to anyone
projecting all his problems to her or blaming her for his own inadequacies
having constant affairs outside the home
using threats of violence to ensure that the is under his control
sleep deprivation
making her feel bad about herself all the time
making her feel guilty all the time

5 ISOLATION
Being locked up in the home
Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives
Monitoring phone calls and telling you where you can and can't go.

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

There are three phases to this cycle

1st PHASE: THE TENSION BUILDING PHASE
During this phase, the relationship between the two partners gradually becomes tenser. Some women have put it like : "There is a feeling of walking on egg shells all the time." Women who have been through this cycle a number of times come to realise that abuse always follows this stage, although they cannot predict precisely when it will occur. Any incident such as a fork out of place, ironing a wrong shirt or the children are playing too loudly, are used as an excuse for the violence. (Remember the movie SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY, where the woman was repeatedly physically and emotionally abused for not putting the bathroom towels in a certain order.)

2nd PHASE: VIOLENT PHASE
This is the phase where the woman is tortured, beaten up and other women get killed. This may last a couple of minutes to a few days.

3rd PHASE: HONEYMOON PHASE.
Following a battering incident, abusers become extremely sorry and apologetic, promising never to abuse her again. They shower their female partners with gifts and attention in order to demonstrate their contrition. This is particularly likely when the woman is threatening to leave. If these apologies and promises are successful, the abuser learns that promises are useful techniques with which to manipulate his partner's feelings and behaviour. However it is only a matter of time before the honeymoon stage comes to an end and tension again begins to escalate. Over time, the battering becomes more severe as the honeymoon period becomes shorter and the tension building and violent incidents longer.

It is important to highlight that while this cycle may be present in some relationships it is not present in all. This is so because some men never apologise because they do not believe that their behaviour is wrong.

COMMON MYTHS ABOUT BATTERY

There are a number of beliefs that people often have about the problem which have some influence on how society views it.

Women Abuse is a Private Family Problem - A crime is a crime whether it is committed on the street publicly or in the privacy of the home when women want to lay charges against their abusers they should be assisted to do so.
It can’t be that Bad or She Would Leave - Women are often forced to stay in violent relationships for the following reasons:
Ø they have limited options and resources, including child care and financial resources
Ø they are often afraid the perpetrator will kill them if they leave
Ø research has indicated that most women who are killed by their partners are murdered at the point of leaving
Ø they may be worried about losing their homes , of impending poverty and isolation
Ø they may be afraid of losing the custody of children
Ø they may stay out of a sense of duty or love
· Stress /Substance Abuse Causes Abuse
Ø many men who are not stressed or abusing alcohol or drugs abuse women and many men who are stressed and \or abuse substances do not abuse women
Ø men who are stressed or under the influence of substances do not necessarily abuse colleagues or friends
Ø violent outbursts occur in the home and not at work: abusive men are able to control their aggression whether or not they are stressed or abusing substances.
Ø stress, substance abuse and battery are all separate issues and should be understood as such.
· Women Abuse Happens to Uneducated, Working Class Women - women abuse knows no socio-economic boundaries: women of all races, classes, cultures, language groups and educational groups are abused by their partners.
· Battery is just a Few Slaps - women who survive battery are often hospitalised with stab wounds, severe broken bones, burns and other injuries
WHY WOMEN STAY?

Fear of the perpetrator’s violence;
Immobilisation by psychological and physical trauma;
Connection to the perpetrator through his access to the children;
Illness (e.g. HIV, MS) and dependence on the perpetrator for health care;
Belief in cultural/family/religious values that encourage the maintenance of the family unit at all costs;
Continual hope and belief in the perpetrator’s promises to change and to stop being violent;
Belief that the perpetrator cannot survive (e.g., due to illness with AIDS) or will engage in self-destructive behavior if the victim leaves;
Insufficient funding and resources nationwide that result in a lack of shelters and victim advocacy programs to provide transitional support;
Lack of real alternatives for employment and financial assistance, especially for victims with children;
Lack of affordable legal assistance necessary to obtain a divorce, custody order, restraining order, or protection order;
Lack of affordable housing that would provide safety for the victim and children;
Being told by others that the abuse is happening because the victim is gay, lesbian or bisexual and that the abuse would stop if they would "change;" and
Being told by the perpetrator, counselors, the courts, police, ministers, family members, or friends that the violence is the victim’s fault, and that the victim could stop the abuse simply by complying with the perpetrator’s demands. In these cases, the victims learn that the systems with the power to intervene will not believe them or act to protect them. Thus, the victims are forced to comply with the perpetrators in hopes of stopping the abuse.

A number of women’s organizations exist in South Africa, the Nisaa Institute for Women's Development is one such organisation. The Nisaa Institute for Women's Development (Nisaa being the Arabic word for women), which is an NGO, was launched in March 1994, by a group of committed gender activists, and with the support and encouragement from a German Women's Foundation. In focussing on women abuse, Nisaa has chosen to address an area which is neither popular nor even a fully acknowledged problem despite its pervasiveness across barriers of class, race and religion.

Nisaa operates in the south- western Region of Johannesburg in Lenasia, Soweto and Orange Farm.

Nisaa offers the following services to women and children:
telephonic counselling
after-hours emergency counselling service
individual counselling services for abused women as well as survivors of rape
support groups for abused women
counselling services for children affected by abuse
emergency shelter for women and their children
legal advice and court preparation
referral information for family, friends and professionals
educational workshops, talks and seminars
school outreach awareness and prevention programmes
lobbying and campaigning
research and publications
training in counselling skills
training of community groups, professionals and other interested stakeholders
a resource centre