READERS SPEAKOUT
ARCHIVE January to July 2001

TORI AMOS HELPED

I think that anyone who has been abused sexually should buy a Tori Amos album.The one I recommend first off is "Little Earthquakes", on which the songs "Me and a Gun" and "Silent All These Years" are found. Both talk about her rape, M.A.A.G. about the actual rape, things flying in her head,
"...you can laugh it's kind of funny the things you think in times like these, like I haven't seen Barbados so I must get out of this..."
and
"...yes I wore a slinky red thing, does that mean I should spread for you, your friends, your father, Mr.Ed".
And S.A.T.Y talks about after...how she couldn't talk about it,
"...my scream got lost in a paper cup, you think there's a heaven where some screams have gone"
and
"...years go by will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand"
and
"... I got something to say you know but nothing comes".
Also, the song "Crucify" talks about the hurt both you and other people cause. The chorus is:
"why do we crucify ourselves every day, I crucify myself, nothing I do is good enough for you, crucify myself every day and my heart is sick of being in chains..."
On her second album "Under The Pink" she sings about the betrayal of women. In "Passed the Mission" she sings about the betrayal of women and in "Cornflake Girl" the betrayal between women. "Baker Baker" is one of my favorites because it talks about her own sexual unavailability after the rape. Here is a line,
"...baker baker baking a cake, make me a day, please make me whole again"
and
"...well I ran from him in all kinds of ways - guess it was his turn this time"
it always makes me cry.
On her newest album "Boys for Pele" (Pele is the volcano goddess) she sings about realizing her own fire and that from all the men in her life she stole fire to try to be whole. It's about women.
A song regarding incest (at least in my mind it fit's that category) is "Professional Widow."
" star f***er, just like my daddy selling his baby"
(I like to think of incest as selling the child's innocence) Also she plays the piano and harpsichord divinely.
Tori is a founding member of RAINN (rape, abuse, and incest national network).
The 24-hour number in the USA is: 1-800-656-HOPE.
They are really nice people to talk to whenever you need to - even at 3am. I called.

Sorry this is long but Tori's music helps me so I thought she might help you too.

Love,
Talula

From: WCalathes@aol.com
 Hello:
My name is Whitney Calathes and I am a Form III student at the Ethical
Cultural School - Fieldston in New York City.
I have tremendous concerns about the world-wide spread of HIV-AIDS.  Currently, I have been
focusing some  of my research/learning on the role of multinational pharmaceutical
companies and the treatment and would like to "interview" someone (sending out 10-12
questions via the net) who may have some knowledge of the topic in South Africa.  Could you assist me?

HELP WITH RESEARCH

HIV AND PTSD:
From: "Fraiford" To: "Speak Out!"  
Subject: Re: Can you help with my research project?? Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 18:52:00 -0000
Hi 
I was wondering if you knew anyone that would be willing to email me their story on how they found out they were infected with HIV/AIDS. I really want to know how they felt when they were diagonosed and what they were thinking.
Did they suffer any symptoms of PTSD or if they were in denial. If they suffered symptoms of PTSD how long did they last. Also how are they coping with life.
If you know of anyone that is willing to email me their story please give them my email address. Their is really no limit on how many people email me and it can be male or female.
Thank You

ANY HELP FOR SURVIVORS IN FRANCE?

From: "Alex" 
Subject: Do you know where I can find help ? 
Date: Fri, 30 Mar 2001 16:34:14 +0200 
 
Hi 
I live in France and there is no rape crisis enter. But maybe you know some address or phone call of organizations in France. 
I live in the South East of France . 
Thank you . 

+ CAN ANY READERS HELP ALEX? PLEASE EMAIL INFO TO US AT speakout@global.co.za

COUNSELLORS IN CAPE TOWN

I was abused as a child and raped when I was 17. Today I'm 23 years old, I have a son, found my soulmate and now I'm ready to deal with it. Can you
send me names of therapists that you can recommend in the Cape Town City area?

Thank you
AL

WE ANSWERED:
Bravo Anelda, you seem to be getting your life together very nicely. This is the final hurdle, good for you for taking this decision. 

(We then gave the names of two rape counsellors associated with SpeakOut as well as:) Nomfundo Walaza is a brilliant psychologist and heads the
Trauma Centre for Survivors of Violence and Torture (021) 4657373

IF YOU CAN RECOMMEND ANY OTHER GOOD COUNSELLORS IN CAPE TOWN  PLEASE LET US KNOW AT speakout@global.co.za

HOW prevalent is SEXUAL ABUSE IN SCHOOLS in Namibia?

 Subject:  Many of you may be aware of the practise of "tournaments" in Namibian schools, it is also know as hunting and trek die trein (pull the train). It basically is coerced gang rape. Woman Solidarity found this at schools in Luderitz, Mariental, Rehoboth, Omaruru and the north. I also found it at a school in Windhoek and believe that the recent court case of gang rape in Rundu is linked to this.
Sonia Carew of Woman Solidarity said she first heard of the term "tournament" in 1985 when she was at David Bezuidenhout School.
In brief a girl is coerced by her boyfriend to meet him in at a quiet place - during or after shool - when she gets there there are mor boys - up to eight I have heard. She is then coerced into allowing all of them to have sex with her. In most cases she is too embarrased or ashamed to complain especially since she may feel that she has allowed it. Under the new rape act this is gang rape. Besides the issue of the trauma and psychological damage, there is also the issue of HIV infection and the spread of HIV through such practises that loom large.
The issue of teacher and girls are still topical in Namibia. After the MBEC had started taking acting against errand teachers, some have now switched their attention from young girls in their own school to girls in other schools. I would welcome input from any of you on this issue, especially on strategies how we can address and combat it. regards
Rianne Selle rianne@mweb.co.na

IN MEMORY OF LYDIA MICHAELS (17).
Slain Rape Survivor

I teach Grade 5, and Grade 7 Sexuality Education & Life Skills at Sea Point Primary School.
I am committed to guiding my primary school students towards recognising the value of life, and the vital need for all people to be respected and loved, and for women and girls to be shown the respect they deserve.
I shall strive to contribute towards the growth of a new generation of men who are Real Men, those who understand and believe in their hearts that rape and abuse (physical, verbal or emotional) are vicious and evil and cruel, and totally unacceptable to those who value and respect life.
INGRID JOHANNESSON

HELP FOR UNIVERSITY STUDENT INVESTIGATING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

I am currently taking a course that studies women's movements in both countries. However, I admit that I am still ignorant on a lot of issues - rape and other forms of violence against women included.

It seems that in both countries there is possibly a higher incidence of sexual violence against women in the lower classes of society. What about rural African women? I don't really know and am having trouble finding out this information. Are poor black women subject to rape more often? What is being done? These are harder groups of women to educate on the matter. I'm pretty sure that many victims don't have access to your great website. Are other things being done?

I am interested and the rest of my class is as well. If possible, could you get some information on the web or to me that concerns WHO the common victims of sexual violence are. I wonder most how race and class might play a part.

Thank you.

Nicole
nicole_schmitz@hotmail.com

aNTI CHILD PORN ORGANIZATION


My name is Alan and I'n 21 years old. I live in the Western Cape. I'm a member of an organisation that fights many sorts of child abuse and exploitation all over the world. I've been a member for about 10 months now and have personally reported and shut down clsoe to 15 websites all dealing in child porn , etc. 
I was abused when I was young and if there is anything I can do for your casue ... please let me know. 
I'm the RSA Laison (Representitive) for ACPO - Anti Child Porn Organisation and would like to get things going in South Africa. I'm a volunteer youth worker so I think I could be of help. 
I bless you all and for the hard work your doing to make the world a better place for all children.

Websites to help :
My Website : http://cybernation.vze.com

God bless and I hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,

CYBERNEO

SURVIVOR'S STORIES
JOYCE SEROKE, CHAIRPERSON, COMMISSION ON GENDER EQUALITY

(http://cge.org.za or telephone 011.403-7182)

As you share your spirit with others, we would like to share these words with you:

"Nothing can dim the light which shines from within" - Maya Angelou

"Each of use brings to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if you don't know what it is, or value what you do, someone, somewhere is benefitting from your presence. No-one can do what you do exactly the way you do it.  It is this uniquenenss that makes you valuable to the world. We are each as unique and valuable as the other. It was designed that way.  A gift from God.  Gifts are not given on the basis of race or gender.  As a matter of truth, gifts come in many shapes, sizes and colour. When you do what you do you are sharing God's gifts, bestowed for the good of the world. "You have something valuable to give to the world." - Extracts from Acts of Faith, by Iyanla Vazant.

READERS  SPEAKOUT
DRUG LORDS AND THE POLICE

Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2001 22:45:49 +0200
This is actually a complaint - I would like a 24 hrs patrol in Steytler street as there are lots of drug corners in Newclare especially Steytler Street please help our youth and stop the drugs please!!!!!! basically every corner in Steyler.
God Bless you richly!
Bronwyn

SpeakOut! Hi Bronwyn, have you complained to the police? If they have not done anything you should lodge a complant with the Independent Complaints Directorate, you will find their phone and fax numbers in the directory, it is their job to investigate the police.

READERS  SPEAKOUT

FUNDRAISER FOR RAINN
From: Elissss@aol.com
Subject: fundraiser for RAINN
Date: Mon, 9 Jul 2001 02:42:36 EDT

Hi!

This is Lis, from Escaping Hades. I wanted to let you know that Shannon, from Welcome to Barbados and I will be traveling to Denver, Colorado, this August, from Minnesota and Ohio to participate in the 1st annual RAINN Run (August 5th), a fundraiser for RAINN (the rape, abuse and incest USA network).

We are doing a fundraiser of our own by getting sponsorships for the run. We are calling this fundraiser "Hike for the Hotline." 100% of donations received during this fundraiser will go directly to RAINN. We have made a website that explains all the details: http://www.escapinghades.com/rainnrun/index.html

We have banners: http://www.escapinghades.com/rainnrun/banners.html - if you'd like to use one of them.

Thanks :)
Lis

READERS  SPEAKOUT

I hope for one thing!

It is that the government of the day use their backbone and stop acting politically correct. Stop being like jelly fish - bring back corporal punishment so that children can be children - AND BRING BACK THE DEATH PENNALTY FOR RAPE AND MURDER!

DRUG ABUSE RESULTING FROM RAPE
From: Bev Subject: Drug Abuse Resulting from Rape Date: Wed, 4 Jul 2001 16:08:17 +0200
Hi there,
Could you please send me some information on how to deal with and all the other information relating to Drug Abuse resulting from Rape..
I would if you could send me this information relatively soon as this is a problem in our lives right now.
Thanking you in advance.
Bev

SPEAKOUT! Bev, have you looked up the information relating to drug and alcohol abuse on the site? See under Medical.If that is still not enough please give us a specific idea of the problem (is it the abuse of prescription drugs, street drugs, alcohol, or all) and the area you live in and we will try and give you the best agency in that area. How long ago was the person raped and what is his/her age?

I have a question that I have been scared to ask for almost 10 years now. I have been trying to get an answer for it for about a year now and I need to know if there is a time limit.
I was raped by my husband 10 years ago. My second daughter was conceived because of that rape. I have since left him and live in a different state. Even though it was proven in court that he would stalk me, the judge presiding over the case gave custody of my minor daughters to him. I want to find out if there is a way to get past my fear of confrontation with him and if the rape has any emotional effect on that fear.
I have tried to find a rape counselor close to me, but they are on different islands. Any help or referral would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
E

Hello,

After hearing the story of Nkosi Johnson, as well as Charlene Smith's story on NPR's Fresh Air, I really felt that I needed to do whatever I could to help the cause there in Africa. The reality there breaks my heart, and to know that so much of it persists because of fear and silence, and lack of eduacation... It just seems like the powers that be could go a long way towards remedying this problem if they would organize a campaign for eduacation on the scientific facts of this diease.
The work you're doing is very commendable, and is exactly what I think needs to be done. Organizations like yours are going to be what slows this epidemic down.
I live in America, and at the moment don't have much money to offer, but am willing to invest my time. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. If there is a list of people I can write to, I am more than willing. We are also a web design company. We have seen your web site and it is very well done. But, if you need any extra help in that area, we would be happy to donate our services.
What you're doing is amazing, and I greatly admire your work.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Sincerely,
Alisa Highfill-Pryor
The Highfill Co.
Affordable Web Design
916.456.7477
www.highfillco.com

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