Dear Sir or Madam,
We are two graduated socialworkers and now students of Psychology at the Freie Universität Berlin, Germany. In the context of our studies we would like to make an practical internship which has to be guided by a psychologist in a social institution in Cape Town.
We are both very interested to make this practical course in your institution to make more practical experienxe and to bring in our abilities and knowledge. Because of this we would like to ask if there is the possibility to do this in your institution and if you have the capacity to take both of us or of if not than perhaps for one person. We are planning to do the practical experience in February 2006 for approximately 5 to 6 weeks. If you have the possibility for this we would sent you our curriculum vitae to get an impression of us.
Thank you very much for your answer.
Sincerely
Silvia Schriefers and Katrin Stier

SpeakOut!

We just run the website and are completely voluntary. If you wish we can post your CV on two SA elists we also manage that go to organisations working with survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence. But first we need your permission to do this.

Rape and anti-abuse groups in Pretoria
 26 July 2005

Subject: Contact details for HOPe

Hi,

On http://www.speakout.org.za/events/readers/readers_march7th2005_rape_support_group_in_pretoria.htmyou mention that contact details for Hatfield Outreach are available on yourwebsite.
Can't find them there though, neither in the phonebook. Have you got anycontact details for them?

Thanx
Bodo.SpeakOut!

Here are a variety of Pretoria groups including the Hatfield group,hopefully one or more can assist you.
* Barbara Louw: Inter Trauma Nexus - 012 346-3655
* Bes Liebenberg: 012 420-4333
* Life Line have a 24 hour Rape Crisis centre at 153 Alcock St, Colbyn,Pretoria. Tel 012 342 2222
* Rape Crisis clinic, corner of Skinner and Prinsloo streets. Tel 012320 0346. I have no idea what it is like.
* Child Abuse Action Group - Lucy: 083 395 7363
* Trauma support centre in Hatfield, Pretoria : hatfield@ad-uppe.co.za orHeroldine at (012) 320-5622

Men need rights too

I read your article at this address with interest: http://www.speakout.org.za/legal/polpart/policy_report_on_domestic_violence.htm

When may I ask will somebody in our justice system open their eyes and see that such gender based policies destroy families. The justice system and society must acknowledge that Domestic Violence is an equal problem for both genders. It's a proven fact that women initiate DV more often than men
The fairytale statistics demonize men as if they were fact, and ignore the rights of fathers and children. Where's the justice in that? The whole system is corrupt and blatantly biased! I never dreamed it was this bad until I was thrown into the middle of it, and my life became a Hell on Earth, along with my two precious daughters's.
The fact that a women accusses a man of DV does not automatically mean that the man is guilty.
The only beneficiaries in this are the Domestic Violence entrepreneurs, lawyers, physcologists etc.
False allegations by women of child abuse, domestic violence, and stalking are almost never questioned by judges for fear of being politically incorrect. Women who feel justified in punishing men use these false charges indiscriminately. Children are forgotten and have become victims with full cooperation from our Court system.
Exagerated or False claims of domestic violence take time, money, and attention away from valid claims, and damage the reputation of an innocent person.
My Story ....
I have known my wife for 25 years, and been married to her for 17 years.
On September 12th 2004, after a long period of alienation and contstant provocation I was accussed of DV.
I ended up in jail, no protection order was in place. At the age of 53 I have been forced to leave the family home that I worked hard to pay off while my Jehovah Witness wife was able to preach "the truth" as she did not initially work at all; To this day she still works halfday.
As at 4 August 2005, this DV case after yet another day in court was once again postponed; This time round the case had been moved to Germiston as the prosecutor felt that the state did not have a case (Why this after 10 months?)
The case will now move back to Edenvale for Trial. A date of August 18th has now been set.

I have no doubt that the case will be postponed and I will if I am lucky be finalized in September 2005, a year later and R30000.00 later;
My wife and her lawyer have abused the organs of justice and escalated the acrimony between my wife and myself. This includes encouraging my wife to make false claims of abuse and also to invoke violence as a way to ensure an advantage in parenting and property disputes and divorce settlement. For instance, encouraging her to apply for protection orders in terms of the Domestic Violence Act 116 of 1998 in order to frustrate my attempts to see my children.
On the day of my arrest, her lawyer requested that I be refused bail, because I was violent. He also encouraged my wife to visit the police station on the morning of the case and make statements that
· She feared me
· That I had threatened to burn the house down
· That I had threatened to kill myself
· She was moving to a safe house until she knew that I was safely behind bars
· etc
Interestigly my wife had unknown to me already file for divorce in March 2004; well before the DV accusation of 12/09/2004;
When I told her to just go for a divorce she was reluctant initially. I told her I was not coming home.
Since leaving the home I have still continued to provide my family with monetary support totally at least R8200.00/month.
Despite this my wife has seen fit to send me an interim maintenance request for R50,000.00/month per child. I guess this is an error and that it should read R5000.00. The contribution I make covers all school fees, medical cover, lights water telephone & internet, timeshare, etc. I also give her R1800.00 cash.
In this meantime I have been living in hotels and out of suitcases.
Quite frankly I really wonder how I have been able to hold down my job. I have been forced to take an average of 4 days leave per month.
On the 12th of July while on a business trip to Nigeria, my wife with whom I had foolishly left my car, sent me an SMS that read: "The sheriff has attached your car for Non Payment of maintenance! She only disclosed the fact that I give her R1800 cash!!!
There is so much more that I could write about.
Things like the acassion that my wife so fit to ban her sister's 6 year old son from our house cos he was seeing things around my daughter (10 years at the time).
I have kept a record of all the significant events that have happened and plan to offer them for publication as my contribution to well meaning fathers like myself.
These are the actions of a "CHRISTIAN", who preaches for a happy family life. All of this is the truth, as God is my witness. So you may understand when I say
The Justice system and truth in life does not pay.
At this point in my life I just want to get far away from my wife and am seriously considering a job in a country I have never visited.
Errol.

SpeakOut!:

We are sorry to hear of the difficulties between you and your wife. Domestic Violence legislation protects both male and female. You too have the right to get a protection order from any magistrates court for R50 if you feel you are being mentally, emotionally or physically abused.

However, sometimes when a marriage has broken down as seriously as yours has it is better to bring it to a dignified and peaceful conclusion through the divorce courts. You and she are young enough to construct positive, happy new lives.

There are counselling organisations in Germiston, or you may want to consider coming through to Johannesburg. Family Life is very good, they have offices in Johannesburg and focus on dealing with problems in relationships. We believe that your most important need at this stage is someone to speak to, in a safe and constructive environment and to work through some of your anger, disillusionment and unhappiness and work toward building a happier, better future for yourself. There are also various male support groups, you may want to contact Dean Peacock of Men as Partners DPeacock@engenderhealth.org .

SpeakOut!

Rapex: The Trigger

----- Original Message -----
From: Africa Contingency Consultants
To: speakout@global.co.za
Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2005 9:40 PM
Subject: Rapex: The Trigger

The You magazine published an article on the new 'rape prevention' tool that is to become available from next year. The following is a letter that I forwarded to them in response to this device. I have forwarded my response to you for your information. I have assessed this product from a Threat Assessment point of view.

RAPEX: The ‘Trigger’

The team put together was a urologist, psychologist, legal expert, doctor and a gynaecologist however one other crucial team member was omitted; a Threat Management Assessor.

Rapex, from a Threat Assessment point, can transform a hideous act into an even more brutal and animalistic action. Before I continue I will concede that this device may be effective, to a certain extent, in managing ‘Date Rape’.

“Perpetrators of violence often have a traceable history of problems, conflicts, disputes and failures. Violent behaviour may be triggered by these individuals perception that it provides a means to rectify or avenge an injustice or wrongdoing. Targeted violence can be premeditated or opportunistic when a situation arises that facilitates or permits the violence or does not prevent it from occurring” J. Travis: US Dept. of Justice

Studies have shown that violence is a process as well as an act. Violence is the product of an interaction among three factors.

The first is an individual with the ability to use violence.

The second is a setting that facilitates or permits the violence, or at least does not stop it from occurring.

The third process is the stimulus or triggering conditions that leads a person to see violence as an option or a solution.

In a threatening or dangerous situation, the way in which we manage the assailant can often be the difference between life and death. Psychopathic and wanton killers are really few and far between. Most individuals turned killer, are people who themselves are scared and they themselves cannot manage their own inabilities or fears.

Take hijacking as an example; contrary to popular belief the purchaser of the hijacked vehicle does not really appreciate the ‘art décor’ of a blood stained car. The action of the victim, at the time of the attack, causes the assailant to feel threatened and as a result uses violence to counteract the perceived threat. In the case of armed robbery we have a one directional source of fear: the assailant. The robber goes up against the ‘unknown’. The assailant is managing numerous fear factors; are you or others armed, could you or others counteract his actions, are the police on their way etc. In this realm of fear an innocent victim performs an innocent action which is perceived as a direct threat and in that split second the assailant goes from robber to killer.

As a means of an example to demonstrate this ‘three phase’ process we can look at the recent brutal killing of a family, bar one daughter who survived seven gunshot wounds, by a business partner.

An individual with the ability to use violence: The assailant had previously beaten a neighbour’s dog to death with a shovel.

A setting that facilitates or permits violence: The assailant’s personal and business situation was in turmoil due to an affair between the two partners.

Stimulus or triggering conditions: In a media statement the assailant’s wife stated that the man was in a good mood and that they had even discussed future plans until he received a phone call. She stated that after the phone call her husband was a different man. “I have never seen him so angry”. No one will ever know what was discussed on that specific phone call but one thing that is for sure is that whatever was said acted as the ‘trigger’ to a horrific incident.

Rapex: The Trigger

Rape is an Act of Violence and violence breed’s violence. Rape is about Domination and not orgasm. Rapists feed on violence and the brutality of the action is the crux of the act.

Do you think that a man who ‘feeds’ on this need will, when ‘bitten’ by this device, simply role over and play dead? Do you think that he will, knowing that he has been ‘marked’, allow a crucial witness to just walk away? No, in fact he will be ‘triggered’ to regain his ego, feed his psychopathic needs, and in doing so become an even greater monster than when he first began. The pain that he receives will be dealt back ten fold.

The second assessment that has not been addressed is the issue of ‘gang rape’, an ever increasing scourge in South Africa. I sorely doubt that when rapist number 1 is ‘bitten’, that rapist 2, 3, and 4 will cease their act in an endeavour to assist their colleague in his time of need. Rapist 1 will be helped but not before the ‘cause of his pain’ and the ‘witness’ have been severely dealt with.

The third and possibly the worst assessment that was overlooked is the ‘Vulnerability Assessment’ that a criminal does prior to committing a crime. Allow me to again use Hijacking as an example. Have you ever wondered why Vehicle Hijacking has increased in popularity? Simply because the modern day anti-theft systems have become so sophisticated that stealing a parked vehicle is no longer an easy act. Without the key many vehicles won’t move and who holds that key; you, the driver.

Many rape cases have involved the act of ‘Sodomy’ as an added means of rapes violent make-up. Criminals don’t fear counter-measures; they assess them and find an alternative. Rapists will rape, and if virginal intercourse poses a threat, then sodomy will become the weapon of choice. Another ‘ugly’ side to the criminal counter-measure will be the act of physically assessing the victim prior to the act. Once again, rape is an act of violence, which in itself means that the rapist has absolutely no regard for the victim or her feelings or the way in which he performs this act. Do you think that a rapist will hesitate to insert an object into a victim to assess whether or not the ‘passage’ is clear? Most rapists are armed and the barrel of a gun will become an effective ‘assessment tool’.

Finally do the designers of this device truly believe that a rapist will merely walk into a hospital casualty and ‘declare himself a rapist’? A counter-measure will be found and unfortunately that counter-measure will be at the detriment of the victim.

Rape is a social problem that needs a social solution. Violence will only beget violence and in this case excessive and more brutal violence.

Lindsay Smith
Africa Contingency Consultants
Cell: 084 622 6022
africacc@mweb.co.za
Africa Contingency Consultants (ACC) specialises in Crisis and Threat Management.

SpeakOut! We agree with Lindsay - except we think the Rapex device: a tampon that a woman has to wear 24/7 with barbs that alleged enclose a penis if inserted into the vagina - is an extremely dangerous device and cannot be condemned strongly enough. Most rape in SA is gang rape, we believe, with Lindsay that the other perpetrators will harm the woman. Even if there is just one perpetrator there is no guarantee that he will be able to withdraw in a way that does not tear the vagina, and too we believe the woman will remove her chances of survival from good to zero. Besides which even cloth tampons create toxic shock syndrome which a woman can die from, if she has it in her vagina for too long - how much more dangerous is a plastic and metal device she will have to wear day and night?

Is she pregnant because of rape?

I just want to find out, can one get pregnant if the rapist did not ejaculate inside u? Should one then just watch out for the diseases?
Tnx

Speakout!

One isn't always aware of the rapist ejaculating. I thought the person who raped me hadn't and it was only when I listened to medical testimony that I realised he had. One should always take all the meds post rape that the docs give - combivir to prevent HIV, antibiotics or penicillin to prevent other sexually transmitted illnesses and other infections including hepatitis, and a the morning-after-pill to prevent pregnancy. If a person is unsure they really should get a pregnancy test asap - blood tells much sooner than urine if one is pregnant and get an abortion - they are free at state hospitals and very inexpensive at Marie Stopes clinics.

From: "Martin"
Sent: Sunday, October 09, 2005 8:45 AM
Subject: Hi

tnx for your quick reply.
Apparently he withdrew and ejaculated all over her.(Sorry if it sounds off). So she was concerned that she will fall pregnant. I took her to a clinic and they gave her all the treatment but she keeps asking that question so that is why I decided to do the search on the internet to get some advice to give her comfort or if it is possible take further steps.

Speakout!

Iif she has taken the medicine, then she is absolutely fine. She must make sure she finishes all the other medicines, especially the medicine to stop HIV, it is very, very important, that she finishes the HIV course and does not miss one dose. Please help her because she will be very absent minded and forgetful at the moment.
If she is nauseous or vomits then that is something that everyone raped, goes through, whether or not they take the medicines. She probably also has difficulties sleeping.
She will be fine. Take her for counselling when she feels ready - usually at about six weeks, it is very important that she goes through counselling. But it is very important that she finishes the drugs.
At six weeks she must go for her first HIV test again after the rape, then again at three months and final one at six months. If she takes all the medicines she will not be HIV+, but you must practice safe sex - use a condom - until the final test at six months just in case. If she is worried about pregnancy she can have a blood test one month after the rape. It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she is pregnant as a result of the rape.
If you or she have further concerns, please feel free to write again.

Rape Laws

Dear Sir/ Madam
I am a member of the student council, at the University of Stellenbosch Tygerberg Medical School. I would like to put together some information to give to our students about rape unique to our type of situation, and just to bring awareness about the issue. We are a university so things we must look out for are date rape and so forth. I would like soe information to this effect. I would also like some information about the exact lawas surrounding rape, in their exact wording. I am not really sure where to start. We would like ultimately to put up posters around our campus. Please assist to this regard
Yours Faithfully
Monalisa
MBChB 3
TSR-Member;
Current Social Issues, Secretary

Speakout!

HI Monalisa,
well if you go through our website you will find most of the information you need. The present rape laws are very outdated, but if you phone parliament or even go to your own law library at Stellenbosch you will get the exact wording. I suggest you look at the section under politics and also law on our site however, because it has some submissions with regard to changing the rape laws.

Drugs and rape, 9 November, 2005

I don't know where to start. Recently my best friend X warned me to stay away from one of our hostel friends- "he raped some one" she said. Apparently this happened last week friday -I think they were getting high together with a few other boys. She later told me he didn't actually rape the girl but would have if some of the boys hadn't stopped him.

X and R encouraged the young girl to tell them what happened. She said "all his friends held me down"... It seems he fingered her. R spoke to him about it and he just laughed.

As you can see, I don't know all the facts. the young girl doesn't know that I know and on one level I'm trying to protect her privacy and because it is a sensitive issue I don't want to interfere and mess everything up even more but on another level this IS my business. Rape is everyones business... I want to do SOMETHING about it. Is is true that the police won't care because it wasn't "really" rape? I think that the boys aren't willing to say anything.

The young girl doesn't know that I know, nobody does except X. I'm not supposed to know, but I want to do SOMETHING to get him out of the school- not because I'm scared of him but because she shouldn't have to face him every day next year. Also I want to protect her privacy as much a possible. We're apprehensive about telling the school staff our personal business as we have experience with them sharing it with each other and students- in the past the most discreet matters have become staff room chit-chat- I don't want that for this girl... Also I can't say anything without the girls permission.

We really need to do something and we're feeling pretty helplesss- torn between desparately wanting to protect her privacy (it's understandable that she would be particular about who knows) and really wanting to protect her sense of security by getting him AWAY from her and the potential "next" girl. I don't want to shrug this off and let my indifference cause this for another girl.

PLEASE help, please call X (number given).
Desparately,
Niki

SpeakOut!
I can't call Xanthe because I don't know if she wants to discuss this. I can't break confidences. You use X and R all through and then expect me to phone someone. It doesn't work like that .
When you say this person is a "young girl" how old is she? She can't be that young if she is getting high.
Using fingers is called 'digital rape' - it's rape alright. People don't just use penisses - most penisses don't work, they use sticks, bottles, fingers, animals, mouths, you name it... and it's all rape and the law sees it as such.
Rape is everyone's business - maybe. You don't have the right to act on my behalf or anyone else's behalf. The person who was raped must be encouraged and helped to take action IF SHE WANTS TOO> If she doesn't then you are as bad as the rapist - acting against her will and without her permission - unless she is a child under the age of 16, the one is compelled by law to inform the police.
If other guys held her down then they are accessories to rape - it is an exceedingly serious offence, so charges would be brought - if this girl wanted it - against the group and not just one person.
Secondly, many drugs especially tik and cocaine see people lose inhibitions and become very sexual. We are having real problems at the moment with growing numbers of young women using tik or coke with guys and then coming to us after they get raped. If you use these drugs (or even drink too much) you have to know you are putting yourself at severe risk.
So unless this girl co-operates I doubt we are going to be able to take action directly against these guys ... but what we can do is devise a drug and rape awareness programme for the school, I can approach the school head (who is it? with phone number and name of school) and say I am aware of problems, without going into details and work out a programme with them (after I have discussed it with you first). The people we are aiming this at will know who we are aiming it at, and it might encourage this girl and others to come forward.
Be calm and strategic - be clever about this.

Drug rape, 16 November 2005

To Whom this may concern,

I am looking for some answers with regards to Date Rape Court Cases in South Africa and perhaps getting in contact with some survivors ?

In March this year 2005, my drink was spiked with Roheponel and I lost 10 hours of my life.
When I woke up I was being raped by a complete stranger !
His room mate, who I also did not know, pleads innocent and says that he was unaware of what was going on ? .... But I will never know if raped me too ???
I reported the rape and have been Subpoenaed to appear in Court.
Since this Rape happened to me, I come to realise that "Our Legal System" is not exactly how I thought it to be and no-one has any answers for me or seem to be putting in any sufficient effort into investigating the case thouroghly for me ?
Even as far as evidence is concerned I'm at a loss because at first my docket & my DNA Tests were "lost" and then found a couple months later ???!! ....However the tests that were supposed to be done hadnt been taken and there is no proof of Roheponal of alchol in my blood stream ???
It even looks like this *##!*hole that raped me will get off, and it has been suggested that I should tell the judge that I was drunk !!!!! WHICH I WASN'T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My State Prosecutor assigned to my case has contacted me once and in our meeting was very distant and kept on receiving sms's will I was telling her what happened ???????????
This whole event has turned my life upside down and it pains me to know that this *##!*hole that raped me, is right now Managing a Restaurant in Sandton, more than likely doing this to other girls, while I have had to move, change jobs and INVESTIGATE MY CASE FOR MYSELF ?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have found 3 other girls that he did this to while working at his previous job, UNFORTUNATELY, I have been told that I cant bring this in as evidence as none of them reported it and it will be "Hearsay" !???????????
Please send me any information that could possibly help in in my Court case?
Can you help me ?
Thank-you

SpeakOut:

Okay, you wrote this in a panic so it is not all very clear.
You need to be much calmer on the stand than you are in this letter otherwise you will sabotage your own case.
If you come across as hysterical or unbalanced it will work against you. I know it is hard and that you are very frightened but you have to be focussed.
Don't swear on the stand either it will work against you.
On what date is the trial and in which court? What is the name of the prosecutor? I could not figure out if the prosecutor was receiving sms' or if you were receiving sms - and from whom? You need to be clear if you want help.
Your drink would not have been spiked with Rohypnol - and I hope you did not say this in your statement because Rohypnol (as you would have seen on our website) now turns blue, fizzes and tastes nasty in drinks. There is no way it was Rohypnol, but highly likely it was something else.
Where did you go for forensic tests after you were raped? Was it a clinic - a hospital - a district surgeon's office? How long after the rape did you go there? What was the name of the doctor?
Do you have a copy of your statement to the cops? If not then get a copy, you are legally entitled to it. What is the name of the investigating officer and what unit/police station is he or she from?
The docket may have been lost, but not the DNA it goes to a completely separate unit and it cannot be lost once it is there.
Who suggested you say you were drunk?
You need to tell the truth - the truth convicts, not fabrications.
The three girls who he did this too could lay charges now and if they do it can be brought in as evidence.

I need answers to all of the above questions to be able to assist you properly.

Raped by a boyfriend
23 November 2005

Hi

I was raped by my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I have laid a charge against him. I don't want him to go to jail but instead go for counselling and anger management. I will not drop the charges until I speak to someone regarding the possibilities of him getting help instead of being sent to jail. Can you assist me with a contact telephone number? I am not too sure if I must contact Legal Aid since I do not have money for a lawyer.

Thank you

Kind regards Jean

SpeakOut!

Dear Ellen

The likelihood of him going to jail are regrettably slim. As a boyfriend it will be his word against yours. Date rape cases are notoriously difficult to prove. He will claim it was consensual sex. He will probably get off with a fine or scot free. We advise that you persist with the case - he is not going to take anything else seriously. Anger management courses have notoriously high drop out rates and low efficacy - like alcoholism they only work if the perpetrator takes him or herself off to them and rarely if they are forced to go to them by a spouse/partner. With Legal Aid, they are more likely to help the perpetrator than the victim. They help rapists, not rape survivors.
What you need is not a lawyer but a good investigating officer and determination on your part to make this case stick. We can put you in touch with other people who have been raped by boyfriends or date raped; and also rape organisations and those that give free legal advice. Where do you stay and how old are you?

Media contacts, 24 November 2005

Are you guys contactable by phone?

Researcher
SABC News Research Department

SpeakOut!

Yes, please let me know what it is about?

----- Original Message ----- From: Vuyo Fatman
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2005 7:02 AM
Subject: RE: contacts

I need contacts for both t.v. and radio interviews on the 16 Days of Activism issue. I was on your website and found a lot of information which was used by the sabc on their coverage of the 16 days.

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