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counselor info needed
From: S - Sent: Sent: 22 January 2008 16:45 To: speakout@global.co.za Subject: rape

Hi there
I would like to request further information regarding rape counseling as my wife has bee through a traumatic experience and I am trying to find a councilor we can speak to face to face we are in the Johannesburg area and it is really hurting her but she refuses to talk to anyone. I would highly appreciate any and all information regarding this situation.

Hi S,

It sounds as though this is very recent. I am more than happy to chat with her, I founded the website and you can see my story under Survivors: Charlene. You don't say where you are in Jhb - I suspect by your surname that you are Muslim (forgive me for being presumptuous) but there is a Muslim help line in Mayfair; Lifeline has an excellent Stop Women Abuse Helpline, you could try People Opposing Women Abuse in Berea but their services are sometimes erratic. There is also Nisaa in Lenasia.

In terms of how to handle her - look at Mark's story under Survivor's stories.
Don't ask her direct questions. Don't tell her how to heal. Don't give her clichés eg time will heal, you are lucky to be alive... etc... She will have mood swings - she is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress - look it up on the website and print a copy for her - don't talk to her about it, just give it to her to read without comment. Psychiatric medication is not a good idea other than the occasional sleeping pill or anti-anxiety drug. Do not push her to go onto drugs, she is not sick, she has been raped, she is normal, she is just very, very emotionally wounded ... she will cope best if those around her know how to cope appropriately.
Do you have children? You too need to go for counselling. She can't cope if you don't know how to respond appropriately. Any of the above agencies can help you and you can also try Family Life in Parkview and the city who have very good counsellors for reasonable rates. ----------------------------------------
 

S
I thank you for your speedy response and I will try to get her to call you as she has lots of mood swings I have come to understand not to ask her anything but to let he open up to me so far it has been difficult. We also live in the Jhb Kensington area and was hoping to find a counsellor in and around the area.
And yet again I really really appreciate your speedy response.

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