SPEAK OUT

COUNSELLING
Working through Feelings

(Based on the techniques of Dr. Nathaniel Branden)
Events and experiences in our lives often affect the way we feel. It could be the way we feel about what happened to us, it could be the way we feel about ourselves as a result of what happened. Experiencing and expressing the feelings helps us resolve what ever it is that happened to us. The unexpressed feelings keep us stuck. The technique developed by Dr. Branden enables us to delve into our feelings and begin the journey of healing within. The Branden technique involves completing sentences, with the first part of the sentence being provided ... 6-10 - endings written/spoken quickly (without thinking) is the suggested method.

An example is provided: Sometimes as a child I felt ..........................
Sometimes as a child I felt that I could do anything.
I could go on forever.
I would always be a child.
we'd always live in the same house.
I would never get to high school.
One of the powerful emotions that often has a hold over us, is fear. The following series of sentence stems allows for the exploration of fear.

1) Sometimes I feel afraid when .....................................(6-10-endings)
2) Sometimes, when I feel afraid I ..................................
3) One of the ways my fear comes out is .......................
4) One of the ways I hide my fear ..................................
5) If I fully admitted and accepted my fear ...................
6) A better way of dealing with my fear may be ...........
7) I am becoming aware ...............................................
8) I am beginning to suspect ..........................................
9) Right now it seems obvious .....................................
10) If any of what I've been saying/writing is true...
This series of 10-steps can be repeated regularly, as new insights may arise during a subsequent exploration. This same 10-step process can be adapted to such emotions as feeling angry, feeling outraged, feeling violated, feeling hurt, feeling betrayed, feeling worthless, feeling unclean, feeling anxious, feeling terrified, feeling insecure, feeling unsafe, feeling isolated, feeling abandoned etc. A wide range of emotional feelings can be explored using the Branden 10-step method. The method may be useful for rape recovery victims.

People who are assault victims (by a stranger) often are aware of what happened to them... and may have strong feelings connected to the event. The 10-step Branden method is one of several methods to help people in emotional recovery to deal with their trauma. Another useful method is the 4-step process, outlined in Alice Miller's Drama of the Gifted Child. This method is also useful in helping people in recovery, to work through deep emotional feelings, which are connected, to the incident.

People, who were assaulted overtly, by some one they knew and trusted, often do know what happened to them. They may experience feelings in addition to some to the ones listed. Their feelings may include feeling degraded, feeling humiliated, feeling embarrassed, feeling abused. The assault may have been physical, verbal, emotional or mental ... and it was overt, blunt, and direct. In addition to Branden's 10-step method, people in recovery may also wish to use either the 4-step process or an expanded version called a Self-Encounter.

People who were assaulted covertly by either some one they knew, or a stranger, may experience intense emotional feelings, but may not be quite sure as to what is going on, or which had happened. Covert abuse can involve telling someone twisted distortions or misinformation (which they believe to be the truth). Instead of using physical force, the victim is manipulated, usually without being aware as to what is really going on. In the sexual arena, a physical as well as an emotional aspect exists. Sexual assault and sexual exploitation can be done emotionally... it is usually done by an adult against a child. The child may be a pre-teen, a teenager, or an adolescent. They may not know or realise what is really happening to them ... however, they may experience the same or similar emotional feelings as a sexual (physical) assault victim. Some one exercised power over them, discretely. Emotionally, they may feel exploited, feel violated, feel betrayed, feel used, etc. The 10-steps in the Branden process can help such people in recovery, to access deep emotional feelings. Such people may even try to randomly explore whatever emotional feeling they are able to mention... in the hope of discovering some key control emotions. In addition to the 10-steps, the Self Encounter exercise is especially highly recommended.