stories

SURVIVOR'S STORIES
AME BROWN'S STORY

AME BROWN FROM ELLIOTT IN THE EASTERN CAPE, you can write to Ame at P O Box 448, Elliott 5460:

"On the 8th of October, 1998 my two children and I were overpowered by 4 black men. We were robbed of everything and before leaving the men took turns raping me in front of my two boys aged 8 and 12. They forced my boys to watch. I have since then been tested for HIV of which my tests at five months showed positive. It has not been easy coping with being raped and having HIV. But I have a fantastic husband who has stood by me through all my depression and down days and all my sleepless nights. He has been my backbone and tower of strength but I also apply an ABC to my life:

A = ATTITUDE ... if you have a positive attitude in life it helps. It is not easy having a positive attitude but it does help to try.

B= BELIEVE ... You must believe in yourself, you must believe you are going to make it through your ordeal and also what has helped me is that I believe God had a reason for this happening to us.

C = CHOICE ... If you're applying A and B in your life then you shouldn't move a problem with C and choice is what it's all about. You have the choice in being depressed, sure it's not your fault for being depressed but it is your fault for not getting over it. You don't need to give depression a seat to sit on when it comes through the door.

Remember this, HAPPINESS is not something that just happens, it is a decision that you have to make, God promises us a safe landing but not a calm passage. You had no part in choosing to live but you have the right to choose how you live. I've also got a few true friends who have been there for me to help me out of the ditch. My parents have also been fantastic. It is important for you as a rape survivor to have a positive attitude. I too have been there, done that and so I am speaking from experience. I have no qualifications with regard to children, but I have found that if you keep your set daily routine with your children and try not to ponder on the issue of rape but be sensitive and remain the family you always were. If your child wishes to talk, be there. If they wish not to talk, well you need to respect their wish, you just need to be there as a friend and not as a parent but give them their space. They too need their space and just respecting their privacy you will find they will open up to you in their own time, just be patient!"