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SURVIVOR'S
STORIES I have a question about an attack that
happened a few years ago. There is one part of the attack that has haunted
me, and that is I was bitten. All over my body, especially on my chest and
inner thighs. I have one small scar, and it burns deeper into me than any
other moment of that night. Thank you. Erin SpeakOut!: Hi Erin - No power is gained from the attack or biting you. We at SpeakOut! are vehemently opposed to the old cliche that rape is an act of power (if rape is, then bank robberies should be too, but no-one says that for any other criminal act). We believe it is an act of impotence in two primary senses - anyone who has power has no need to use violence, secondly many rapists suffer from erectile dysfunction (if they get it up they battle to keep it up and this is often where they beat women, stick objects in them or bite them); we believe that saying rape is an act of power may contribute to inadequate men believing they will attain 'power' or become more adequate by raping women ... they don't of course and that is why all rapists are serial, they keep trying to get a sense of self esteem and every act of rape reduces their inner sense of self worth... and so we get people who bite, who beat women, who urinate on them, put objects up them, stab them, etc... It is an act of frustration. Biting is quite common, it was very common in the Kosovo conflict when hundreds of women were raped. It is an act of attempted mutilation - not enough to seriously wound you, but to give a scar as the rapists imprint, you allow him to succeed if that is how you keep looking at it. You need to change the way you look at
that scar, do not see it as a badge of shame, or the mark of a rapist -
see it as the way your body resisted an attack on its life, how in that
scar it reaffirmed its desire to live, your skin closed over the wound, it
sought to protect you again ... that scar is your triumphal badge. It
says, I survived! And I'm sure over time that scar has got smaller, as the
scars in your heart too should be shrinking. Close the wounds in your
heart, a rapist is someone we should banish from our minds, not carry with
us over eternity. If we are given a second opportunity to live, it is so
that we should LIVE. © Speak Out Terms of use |